College football is back.
Well… sort of.
Week 0 gave us a handful of games, and somehow the western half of the country managed to produce nearly every possible flavor of college football chaos.
There was an FCS powerhouse making its FBS debut and immediately looking like it had been here for years, a massive underdog hanging around against Florida State, comebacks that fell apart at the finish line, and there was even an Elvis impersonator leading UNLV against his boys from Graceland.
And then there was San Jose State, which spent three quarters getting sacrificed to the Trojans before discovering that USC had backups. If this is what the rest of the season is going to look like, the West is going to be a beautiful disaster.
North Dakota State: welcome to the Mountain West
Fargodome, Fargo ND · Elevation 900 ft
North Dakota State did not exactly ease into FBS football.
The Bison walked into their first game as an FBS program and beat Jacksonville State 33–7, immediately answering the question nobody in Fargo was particularly worried about:
Yes, we belong here.
For years, North Dakota State has been the FCS program everyone points to when explaining why the gap between the subdivisions isn't quite as enormous as people think, and now they get to spend an entire season proving it.
The Bison controlled the game from the start, with quarterback Nathan Hayes throwing two touchdown passes while the defense held Jacksonville State to just seven points. North Dakota State's offensive line and physical rushing attack looked exactly like what you would expect from a program that spent years beating up on FCS opponents.
The Mountain West may have gained a new member, but it looks like somebody forgot to tell the rest of the conference that North Dakota State was bringing a sledgehammer.
Unfortunately Jacksonville State didn't notice.
New Mexico State: “wait, are we actually doing this?”
Doak Campbell Stadium, Tallahassee FL · Elevation 200 ft
New Mexico State went into Tallahassee as a massive underdog. Which is generally the part of the game where you're supposed to lose quietly, collect the paycheck, take some pictures of the stadium and go home.
Instead, the Aggies made Florida State sweat.
New Mexico State eventually lost 34–17, but the score doesn't quite capture the feeling of the game. The Aggies hung around long enough to make everyone watching think the same dangerous thought:
“Wait… what if they actually do this?”
They didn't.
But for a few hours, New Mexico State got to experience the most important rule of Group of 6 football:
You don't have to win the game to ruin somebody else's Saturday.
Florida State escaped with the victory, but New Mexico State showed exactly why these games are dangerous for Power conference teams. One bad quarter, one fluky turnover, one quarterback getting hot, and suddenly the $1.5 million check you were supposed to cash comes with a whole lot more anxiety than expected.
The Aggies didn't get the upset.
They did, however, get Florida State's attention.
And honestly, that's half the fun.
Hawai‘i: the comeback that came with an expiration date
Stanford Stadium, Stanford CA · Elevation 30 ft
Hawai‘i trailed Stanford by 16 points.
Then they came back.
Then they took the lead.
Then they lost.
This is the sort of game that perfectly captures the emotional experience of being a Hawai‘i football fan.
At one point, the Rainbow Warriors looked like they had turned a miserable start into one of the best comeback stories of the opening weekend.
And then, because football is cruel and apparently hates happy endings, Stanford took control late and walked away with a 37–27 win. Hawai‘i's comeback was ultimately undone by turnovers, including a costly late fumble.
Hawai‘i proved they can fight.
Unfortunately, football awards wins for finishing the fight.
The good news is that this wasn't the kind of loss where you walk away thinking the season is over.
The bad news is that this wasn't the kind of loss where you walk away thinking, “Wow, that was fun.”
It was more of a: “Wait, weren't we winning?” kind of loss.
UNLV: Elvis has left the building
Allegiant Stadium, Las Vegas NV · Elevation 2,030 ft
There are a lot of ways to start a new coaching era. You can have fireworks. You can have a flyover. You can have some kind of giant inflatable mascot.
UNLV chose something much more appropriate for Las Vegas.
Elvis.
An Elvis impersonator ran out with the Rebels before the game, because apparently nothing says Las Vegas college football quite like the King of Rock 'n' Roll leading a bunch of college kids into battle.
And honestly?
It was perfect. They had the lights, the atmosphere, and they had Elvis.
All they needed was the football team to finish the show.
Unfortunately, Charles Huff and the Memphis Tigers apparently did not come to Las Vegas to have fun.
No music.
No ice cream trucks.
Just football.
And apparently it worked.
UNLV led at halftime, but Memphis scored the final 13 points and turned the fourth quarter into a defensive demolition. The Tigers sacked Jackson Arnold six times, with the Rebels' offensive line completely losing control of the game late. Memphis eventually walked out of Allegiant Stadium with a 27–21 victory.
Which is a very Memphis way to win in Las Vegas.
UNLV came to Sin City with Elvis.
Memphis came with a work ethic.
And somehow the work ethic won. (Funny how that works in real life)
It's like Elvis walked into Allegiant Stadium, looked around at the lights, gambling and entertainment, and said:
“You know what? I'm going back to Memphis.”
And then left.
The King didn't even make it to the fourth quarter.
UNLV's offense had enough flashes to give Rebels fans plenty of optimism, but Memphis' defensive pressure eventually overwhelmed them.
So Elvis came out with UNLV.
Memphis won.
And fittingly:
Elvis left the building.
San Jose State vs. USC: The Odyssey, featuring USC's bench
LA Memorial Coliseum, Los Angeles CA · Elevation 180 ft
And then there was San Jose State.
We knew this was going to be an Odyssey.
The Spartans entered the Coliseum like Odysseus sailing into the unknown.
Except Odysseus at least had a decent idea where he was going.
San Jose State was sailing directly into USC.
The Trojans jumped out to a 28–0 halftime lead and eventually pushed it to 35–3, making the game look less like an epic journey and more like the part of The Odyssey where that one guy gets eaten by the Cyclops.
But then the fourth quarter happened.
San Jose State scored 23 points.
And suddenly the Spartans had discovered football.
There was only one problem:
USC had their bench in.
The Trojans were already in control of the game, and by the fourth quarter USC was rotating in backups and younger players.
Which made San Jose State's comeback simultaneously impressive and absolutely hilarious.
San Jose State:
“Guys, we're coming back!”
USC:
“That's awesome. Take it easy on the freshmen!”
The Spartans ultimately lost 42–26, but new quarterback Luke Weaver gave San Jose State fans a legitimate reason to be excited. He threw for 234 yards and two touchdowns while adding another touchdown on the ground.
And that's where the comedy ends for a second.
Because Weaver looked good.
San Jose State scored 23 fourth-quarter points and showed enough offensive life to suggest that this team could be considerably more annoying than people expected once it gets into Mountain West play… against Air Force.
But what can you expect? In LA, fans and football players alike show up when the end is near.
San Jose State spent the first three quarters getting beaten by USC, then waited until the Trojans' backups came in before deciding to start playing football.
They were basically doing the USC fan experience in reverse.
USC fans:
“We'll show up once the team is good.”
San Jose State fans:
“We'll show up once the game is close.”
Everybody had the same basic philosophy:
Don't waste your Saturday on the first three quarters.
San Jose State ultimately lost, but the fourth-quarter fight gave the Spartans something to build on.
Sacramento State: ESPN declared them dead two minutes too early
Rynearson Stadium, Ypsilanti MI · Elevation 750 ft
Sacramento State deserves a spot in this article for one simple reason:
They were the western team nobody quite knew what to do with.
The Hornets aren't in the Mountain West.
They're not in the Pac-12.
They're technically in the MAC now.
Which somehow makes them even more interesting.
Sacramento State made the jump from FCS to FBS this season and opened against Eastern Michigan.
Meaning their first FBS game was a conference game against a team roughly 2,300 miles away.
Welcome to the MAC.
And for most of the game, Sacramento State looked like a team that belonged.
Eastern Michigan jumped out to a 21–3 lead, but the Hornets fought back and eventually made it a one-score game. They held Eastern Michigan scoreless in the third quarter and continued to hang around into the fourth.
Then came the best part.
ESPN apparently decided the Hornets were done.
With roughly two minutes remaining, ESPN's graphic showed Sacramento State at 0–1.
Which would have been a pretty reasonable prediction.
Except there was still football left to play.
The Hornets were down 11.
They still had the ball.
They still had a chance.
And ESPN had already sent their record to the graveyard.
It was essentially:
Sacramento State: “We're not dead yet.”
ESPN: “Just come back later, I'm sure they'll be well dead by then!”
Unfortunately, ESPN eventually won the argument.
The Hornets' final push ended with an interception, allowing Eastern Michigan to close out a 28–17 victory.
Welcome to FBS football, Sacramento.
You've officially been ESPN'd.
So… what did we learn?
Mostly that the West is going to be incredibly entertaining.
North Dakota State looks like it belongs.
New Mexico State already demonstrated that being a massive underdog does not mean you have to behave like one.
Hawai‘i discovered that comebacks require finishing.
UNLV discovered that Memphis does not believe in fun.
Sacramento State discovered that ESPN occasionally enjoys burying people before they're actually dead.
And San Jose State discovered that if you survive the first three quarters of a USC game, there is apparently a fourth quarter available for you to play football.
Week 0 wasn't perfect for the West.
The Mountain West went 1–3.
There were blown leads.
There were fourth-quarter collapses.
There were empty stadiums.
There were backups playing backups.
There was an Elvis impersonator.
There was even a team getting declared 0–1 before the game was actually over.
In other words:
College football is back.
And the West is already a mess.
Beautiful.